Its true. Ski season is upon us. But here is sunny New Delhi, it seems far, far away. For those with closer access to the ski hills, this post will not help you. For me, its probably more cathartic than anything else. On with it.
I have a date with a ski mountain at the end of this month. I'm getting butterflies. I wake up at night in a cold sweat. What will I do? What will I say? Will the mountain like me too? I think this date requires a little preparation.
Waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, is, unfortunately, not that far from the realm of reality. My worst nightmare: I'm so out of ski shape and practice that my first day back on the slopes is one of pain, misery and embarrassment. Yes, the first day telemarking of the season always involves a little bit of pain and misery, but pre-season training can help relieve the pain and set the correct frame of mind. With these sunny days, cows strolling in the street, and chai-wallahs relaxing on the street corner, telemark prepped thighs and a snow-steeled head are far my daily reality. I think I've gotten to the stage where my fear is slowly morphing into the motivating factor to get into ski shape - and to ensure I don't lose gnar points for making hot tub runs or call the day early to head for the bar.
I have dawned my running shoes, shorts and shirt and gone running a few times a week for a few weeks now, and the looks of locals are always the same: those that acknowledge my presence indicate no friendliness in their faces. Blank stares. Incomprehension. Most avoid eye contact, encouraging me to do the same. There are the few who say hi, or give a sign of encouragement. A few kids will give high-fives or say how are you, but its nothing compared to the onlsaught of village kids chasing after you for a mile or so smiling and yelling, and then asking for money, like I experienced in Africa. The runs are fraught with other obstacles, including deer, peacocks, pigs and unruly kids - yes, even in New Delhi. I also heard stories of eight foot angry cobras - but that's personally unverified so far.
But solid prep for skiing and telemarking requires more than a sauntering jog. Thighs of steel don't come THAT easily. So here is the Theis Delhi Telemark Workout Plan:
1) Lunges. Lots of them. You really can't do too many lunges. If you thought strange looks came from running, than you haven't seen anything yet. Choose a side street, alley, or walkway in a park. Uncrowded if possible, because the jaw-dropping looks might cause you to fall over when your legs are at the throbbing brink of collapse. Don't let that stop you. Continue to lunge until your throbbing legs do collapse.
2) Wall sits. Having a mid-day cup of coffee? No need for a chair - just pull up a wall. How about brushing your teeth? Need a work break? Better yet, encourage a colleague to a wall-sit-off. Yes, competition IS a motivator.
3) Mountain climbers. Let me guess, you haven't done these since you were in elementary school, right? Well (whisper), me neither. But don't let that stop you now. Breathless and panting, keep those legs moving as fast as you can. How else are you going to get those seamless turn transitions in the deep pow?
4) Jumps. Find random things to jump on. That park bench - yep, up and down. Three sets of 30. Now. Go. That awkward half stone half dirt curb - perfect. One leg only, up, down, side to side, up, down, side to side. Switch legs. Tired of jumping on things? How about done that dirt path over there? 20 in a row, standing long jumps. Did you make it further than you did last time? Done with lunges? Think again. Jumps + Lunges = The Next Level. In place, lunge right, now jump, switch legs, and lunge left. Ah yea, now that's tele'ing in Delhi!
5) Mix it all up. Lunges, jumps, mountain climbers. Tired? Breathless? You can recover with sit-ups or push-ups. Don't neglect that core!
Phew, Im tired just typing. Good thing I wrote the post in a wall sit. That much closer to those steely, telemark prepped thighs... bring on the snow.
Suggested additions to the work out plan? Please!
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