Missing the Develop(ed)(ing) World

Disclaimer: One of my hopes for the new year is to blog more often AND to keep entries short enough to read in less than 5 minutes. This one may break that second intention already...

Two-thirds of one butt cheek rest comfortably on the bench of a minibus carrying 17 down from a church atop a hill it took me 2 hours to hike. The ride cost the equivalent of $0.13, takes 5 minutes, and carries 5 less passengers than the same sized minibus would in Lusaka.

I share my dinner table with an elder Ethiopian man because every other table is full. He has just returned to Ethiopia after living in Amercia for 20 years. He raised his family there - and his three kids will stay. After regaling me with stories of his time in the States, he shares what will miss most: his wife (to join him in Ethiopia in 8 months time, his kids, and Domino's pizza.

Yep, I'm back in Africa.

Sipping on a glass of red wine, sated from a scrumptious dish of spicy lamb stew and injera, enjoying the ambiance of a restaurant in Addis Ababa, serenated by Ethiopian infused Jazz beats, I try to wade through a jet-lagged fog to contemplate the events of the last few weeks. A few days ago I departed Colorado, and in a few days more I will return to Lusaka. Which is home? Family and familiarity dominate one, work and intrigue the other.

I had a number of small anxieties and high hopes returning home from eight months in Africa. One by one, each anxiety proved unfounded and hope overblown. I've gathered in a larger sense, that the things I think I miss in Africa, and the things the expat community yearns for and complains about - don't amount to much. We do not live a deprived life in Lusaka, Zambia - but there are a number of things in the developed world that do make living nice.

I drove my old car from place to place - and initially had to remind myself which side of the street to drive on. It was only necessary initially, though, as years of past experience quickly superceded recent habits as I turned on the radio and stopped thinking about which side of the road is the 'right' side. The roads are wide and smooth. I can comfortably drive faster than I would dare on Zambian highways, not having to fear surprise goat crossings, car-swallowing potholes, or semi trucks broken down in the middle of a two-lane highway.

I sought burritos, sushi, beer, and hamburgers galore. My expectations of that first burger were like those in a Carl's Jr commercial; with each bite of a monstrous burger, juicy deliciousness drips down my chin - how could I not be satisfied? Or what about that heavenly nectar, beer? It brings to mind snowy mountain peaks and fur bikini clad women (sorry, I AM from Colorado and have seen A LOT of Coors commercials). I must say, Zambian local beer never brought to mind snow or bikini clad women. And yet, every encounter with burritos, sushi, and beer let me down - as I had built up monumental expectations of what a each should be. I don't think I will be craving sushi, burritos, or beer for some time to come.

Instead, it was the small things that struck me. Seeing my breath in the cool morning air. Fixed prices, neglecting the need for bargaining. Sidewalks. Blending into a crowd. I nearly broke into tears in the cheese aisle of Costco. Reliable hot showers with good water pressure are lovely. Internet that supports video and pictures with speed is mind boggling. The chance to see family and friends, spend holidays among mountains and snow, reminded me of a different life. Straddling what seems like two worlds, I have to think hard in which one I really belong - because in one, I inevitably miss the other.