I had never put two and two together before arriving in India. All the Bollywood films and first or second generation Indians I have met never really expressed the importance. But now that I am here, it is crystal clear - it is an essential survival skill - the Indian head waggle.

- Its useful in conversation, giving immediate affirmation to the speaker.

- Its a simple, effective way to communicate thank you and appreciation to the taxi driver, waiter or receptionist.

- Its a way to say hi to passersby.

- If you are really good, it will get you tea, coffee or a wonderful subji without saying a word or moving a finger! My microwave can't do that!

And when I say head waggle, don't get me wrong. Some people here shake their head vigorously.

There is only one problem. The Indian head waggle conveys the exact opposite meaning from every movement my head has ever made. My up down to express affirmation doesn't work here. Left to right here is what means 'Yes'. Now, just picture it (because it has happened a little too often in the short amount of time that I have been here so far) - where I get animated during a conversation and shake my head up and down - and the person across from me gets animated, and shakes their head side to side. Up - down - side - side - up - side - down - side. Now you can see how confusing it can be. And that's from my point of view. They just probably think I'm some goofball from the planet Mars that has never exercised the side to side neck muscles, just the up and down ones. The more I shake up and down, the more they shake left and right. If I'm not careful, I think I may cause someone's head to fall off during a business meeting. I can only imagine the repercussions from that:

"Latest American Cultural Blight Causes Severe Neck Pain."

"Americans Waggle Wrong, Ministers Heads Roll."

"Misinterpretation of Head Nod leads to WWIII."

Wait a minute - this is starting to sound familiar. A little too familiar, isn't it? It is. No - it isn't. AHH!!!! KRRRPPPOOOWWWW!!!